Dear First First Year Me, (A Letter to My Pre-Uni Self)

You’re a third first year now. How’s that for a self-given title. 3 years you’ve been at Glendon and 3 times you’ve officially changed your mind on your major since coming here. It seems like so much time has passed and yet you have so much still ahead of you.

I was re-reading one of our first blog posts recently. I still remember writing it, looking forward to the coming adventure, ready to leave the confinement of our room in the countryside. I still remember writing it, and yet, I read it now as if they were the words of some stranger.

I look back and practically see a fetus when I look at how far I’ve come

You won’t believe how much you’ll change in these 3 years. How much you’ll improve, how much you’ll learn, how much you’ll realise you still have to work on. That much won’t surprise you though – you always were a work-in-progress. 

Oh! And you know how you do that thing where you freak out about what you’re going to do with your life? How angry you get every time someone asks you the question because you care too much to say it knowing they expect more from you? You’ll end up owning that uncertainty.

You don’t know where you’re going, but you do know it’ll be a hell of a journey getting there.

Heck, one day you’ll even find a TED talk and realise it talks directly to what you are. Not only that, but you’ll share it and help others realise that not everyone has 1 be-all-end-all thing, some of us actually have a ton.

You’ll also come to realise that even though your interests are super varied, that doesn’t mean they’re all a good choice for you to study. I mean, just wait and see what happens once you get halfway through your 1st year. International Studies is cool yeah, but geeze do you not care enough about it to actually pay attention, or even attend class! Actually, I should probably warn you about that…

You’ll be so disinterested in your classes, that you’ll fail most of them. Yeah, you’re not actually above that.

Skipping class to stay in the Breezeway or help out with events

Once you realise how far you’ve sunk yourself, there are nights you’ll spend alone in your room crying because « How could this possibly have happened? This isn’t supposed to happen to me! »
You’re habits may put you on academic probation, but you know what? It’s not easy, but it’s not that big of a deal either.

You’ll realise that it’s happened to a lot of people you know too (and you’ve gotten to know quite a few people). It’ll do you some good. Learning to fail is the first step in learning to pick yourself up right? At least, that’s what Tumblr has told you so far. (not that I’m disagreeing)

That won’t be the only thing that keeps you up at night in your first year either…

You’ll end up in a fight with one of the people you thought you were closest to and then you’ll lose them. It still hurts… but it’ll help you learn not to hold on so tightly. Sometimes it’s better to let a flame burn out than to burn yourself repeatedly trying to light it up again. These days, you’re still an overly attached sentimental fool, but you’ve learned how to deal with it.

Glendon Campus York University view of the quad in fall
Also a visual paradise, but you already know that

And although you may not have that friend anymore, you’ll get something else in exchange. Your love of people, cultures, and just about everything will find its paradise within Glendon.

Nada, Mehdi, Corine, Farzaad… They’re even more amazing in person and meeting them will be like a miracle, but they’re just the beginning. Fatima, Eugène, Gabriela, Ginny, Melissa, Ysé… The list goes on!

Photo segue from Nada and Co. to Lily 😛

You’ll even end up with a friendLily, who’ll help you redefine how you think of friendships.

(You know all those tumblr friendship memes? You’ll actually be able to relate to some of them now, by some twist of fate)

If your fight hadn’t made you grow cold to the word, you’d even go so far as to say you had a best friend now.

I could tell you so much about a what’s going to happen to you in these 3 short years. I could say more, but too many spoilers will ruin the fun (even if you love spoilers).

I say this as I continue this adventure, and all I know is that I still have a long way to go and a heck of a lot to learn.

All my love,

Nadia 1.3

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